When Grief Touches Everyone: Understanding Community Loss and How to Cope

Writing this piece hasn’t been easy. In fact, I debated for several days whether I even should. The recent Air India Flight crash in India has been devastating - not just because of the danger it posed, but because of how deeply personal it feels. When tragedy strikes so close to one’s identity, culture, or community, it becomes more than a headline - it becomes a mirror reflecting our own fears, grief, and helplessness.

As a grief therapist, I’m no stranger to holding space for others’ pain. But I also know that when pain hits close to home, there’s a fine line between being informed and being overwhelmed. I found myself limiting how much news I consumed, intentionally stepping away from updates so I could stay grounded and emotionally available for my clients and community. This is the balance many of us are trying to navigate understanding what’s happening without becoming consumed by it.

The Tragedy: A Community in Mourning

On June 12, an Air India Express flight bound for London crashed just minutes after takeoff from Ahmedabad, India, in what has now become the world’s deadliest air disaster in a decade. The plane went down in a densely populated residential area, striking a medical college hostel and leaving hundreds of lives lost including passengers, crew members, and people on the ground.

It’s hard to fully grasp the weight of such a tragedy. The number is staggering 275 lives gone but behind each life was a family, a dream, a future interrupted. Even for those of us watching from a distance, the pain feels close. Many in the Indian and South Asian diaspora are mourning not just for the lives lost, but for the suddenness, the helplessness, and the collective heartbreak that follows a disaster of this scale.

What Makes Community Grief Different?

This isn’t just about a plane crash. It’s about a community reeling from shock, families facing unimaginable loss, and an entire culture holding its breath in grief. When grief touches so many at once, it becomes something larger, something shared. And in that shared sorrow, we are reminded how deeply connected we are, and how much we need each other to heal. Community grief doesn’t belong to just one person. It spreads through neighborhoods, workplaces, places of worship, and cultural ties. It’s not only about who was lost, but what was lost - a sense of safety, normalcy, and sometimes even identity.

In community grief:

• Everyone may be hurting, leaving fewer emotional anchors to lean on.

• There’s a tendency to compare pain or invalidate our own because “others had it worse.”

• People feel responsible for being strong or composed, especially in cultural communities where emotional restraint is valued.

The Weight of Survivor’s Guilt

One of the most painful emotions in shared tragedies is survivor’s guilt - the belief that you didn’t deserve to live, or that you somehow failed others by surviving.

Survivor’s guilt often sounds like:

• “I should have noticed something.”

• “What if I had done something differently?”

• “Do I deserve to move forward while someone else never got the chance?”

It’s important to acknowledge that these thoughts are common and that they are symptoms of trauma, not truths. Survivorship is not a moral failure. It is, painfully and beautifully, a beginning.

Coping Skills for Collective and Survivor Grief

Whether you were directly involved, know someone who was, or simply feel this loss in your bones, there are ways to honor your grief and take care of yourself:

1. Validate Your Grief

Your feelings are real even if others appear “more affected.” Grief doesn’t require justification.

2. Create Boundaries with Media

Limit how much news you consume. Stay informed but not overwhelmed. Give yourself permission to step away when needed.

3. Connect with Others

Grief isolates us, but connection heals. Talk with others who understand. Attend community events, online vigils, or support groups.

4. Use Grounding Tools

Techniques like deep breathing, and mindfulness can calm your nervous system. A simple exercise: place your arms around your shoulders in an “angel hug” and say, “I’m going to be okay.”

5. Honor the Lost

Write, pray, light a candle, or create a ritual. Giving grief a shape can help it feel less overwhelming.

6. Seek Professional Help

Working with a therapist, especially one who understands cultural context can provide validation, coping strategies, and a space to process complex emotions.

A Final Thought

I chose to write this because grief deserves to be seen, even when it’s uncomfortable. As a therapist, a South Asian woman, and a member of a global community, I believe it’s possible to honor pain without being swallowed by it. And I believe in the power of hope, renewed, redefined, and remembered through every loss we carry together.