The Many Faces of Grief - A Journey of Loss and Love

Grief and loss—two words that, for much of my life, seemed like adversaries I feared. It wasn’t until I became a social worker, working alongside those navigating the most profound pain, that I came to realize these experiences aren’t something to fear—they are part of the ebb and flow of life.

Losses happen in many forms: the loss of a child, a loved one or a dear friend, a home to an environmental disaster or economic hardship—to name a few. Losses also happen in ways we don’t expect. For example, moving cities can result in new constraints on the relationships we’ve built over time. Some losses are visible and profound, while others are invisible and subtle. Sometimes we grieve immediately, and other times, the grief takes time to manifest.

For me, the first real experience of this kind of loss occurred over 14 years ago, when I moved to a new state for a new job. I was filled with excitement and a deep sense of purpose about the opportunity to serve the community I loved. Yet, there was a heavy truth lurking beneath that excitement: I was leaving behind family, friends, and coworkers who had supported me in ways I had not fully realized. I was gaining a new life, but that didn’t make the loss of the old one any smaller.

A dear friend came over to say “goodbye” before my departure. She was happy for me but also saddened by my move. We stood there, torn between joy and sorrow, as she expressed how much she would miss the daily exchanges, the cups of chai, and the effortless connection we had shared for years. That day, I didn’t fully grasp the depth of what I was leaving behind. It wasn’t until much later—when our conversations turned from daily catch ups to occasional check-ins—that I understood the weight of that loss. Our friendship had to evolve, just as I had, and we began living in a new reality.

In my 18-plus years of professional experience, I’ve witnessed countless forms of loss. I’ve been honored to stand alongside individuals and families during their most difficult moments, providing support as they navigated their grief. Through these experiences, I’ve learned one undeniable truth: no two griefs are the same.

I’ve seen two mothers—each grieving the loss of their young adult sons—grieving in completely different ways. Despite sharing a common loss, their grief was shaped by their individual journeys, their unique relationships, and their personal histories with their children. I’ve witnessed a 3-year-old’s grief when she was removed from her biological home because it was deemed unsafe, and I’ve seen adults grieve the loss of trust when a partner cheats. Each loss comes with its own set of emotions, its own path, and its own rhythm. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to grief.

As a social worker, I’ve learned the importance of seeing grief through a cultural lens. Every culture has its own worldview—a core set of beliefs that shape how people understand the world and their role in it. Grief is no exception. Cultural and religious beliefs around death, loss, and mourning vary widely, and understanding these differences without judgment is crucial when supporting someone through bereavement.

In every culture, there are rituals and customs surrounding death and mourning. These rituals help individuals express their grief and offer an opportunity for community members to come together in support. In some cultures, this may be a long period of ritual mourning; in others, it may involve specific rites or ceremonies. These practices are not just ceremonial—they are deeply meaningful, providing structure and a way to process the complex emotions surrounding loss.

Throughout my journey, I’ve also learned the value of recognizing all feelings. Grief is not linear, and reactions to loss can vary greatly. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and it’s vital that we resist the urge to judge another’s feelings or how they cope. One person may cry at a loss, while another may stay quiet—both responses are valid. It’s not about assessing whether someone is “coping well” or “moving on,” but about offering a compassionate presence that allows them to process their grief at their own pace.

In my years of work, I’ve come to understand that we are constantly experiencing loss in different forms. Sometimes, it can be just as complex and profound as the death of a loved one. It’s not just about the big, obvious losses—it’s about the smaller, everyday ones: the loss of an old routine, the loss of familiarity, the loss of trust, the loss of something once cherished. We grieve all of these in our own ways, and it’s okay to acknowledge that.

Grief is something we will all encounter at some point, but it does not need to be feared. It is not a singular event that only happens in the face of death. It’s an ongoing, dynamic process that takes many forms throughout our lives. And perhaps, by embracing it, understanding it, and recognizing the beauty in how each person grieves, we can offer support and compassion—not only for those who suffer, but for ourselves as well.

Grief is part of the human experience—a universal journey that we walk with others in ways both large and small. And through it all, we grow, we heal, and we move forward together.