The Importance of Funerals: Saying Goodbye Through a Spiritual and Cultural Lens
When someone we love dies, the world often feels like it stops—but everything around us keeps going. Our bodies carry the weight of loss, our minds struggle to accept reality, and our hearts break open in ways we never expected. In those moments, funerals become more than a ritual. They become a vital way of holding our grief, honoring the one we've lost, and reminding ourselves that we are not alone.
As a therapist, I’ve supported many clients navigating grief and loss across diverse cultural and religious backgrounds. And as a daughter, I’ve lived it too.
When my father passed away suddenly while visiting his home country, it was devastating. He had just gone to wrap up unfinished business and close a chapter—but he never came back. The shock of losing him so far away was overwhelming. I couldn’t touch him, see him, or say goodbye. The grief felt unbearable.
But it became deeply important to me to bring his remains back home. I needed to have a funeral. I needed a space where I could honor him, see him one last time, and say goodbye—not just for him, but for myself.
The funeral gave me that. Friends and family surrounded me, and I felt grounded in their presence. I heard stories of how much he was loved. I saw people weeping, laughing, remembering. The collective prayers for his soul, offered by our community, wrapped me in a sense of belonging and support. I was reminded, even in the midst of immense pain, that I wasn’t walking through this alone.
It was one of the hardest experiences of my life—to see the person I most love go. But I know it would have been even harder without the rituals to help me let him go.
Why Funerals Matter
Funerals serve as a sacred bridge between life and death, between grief and healing. They are not just for the person who has died—they are for those of us who are left behind, trying to make sense of it all. Rituals, whether religious, cultural, or spiritual, help us name the loss, feel the feelings, and mark the transition.
Religious and spiritual practices can be especially grounding during this time. In many traditions:
Prayers are offered to bring peace to the departed soul.
Ceremonies are held to honor the life lived and express collective grief.
Food and gatherings provide space for connection, remembrance, and shared sorrow.
Whether it’s lighting a candle, reading a sacred text, washing the body, or simply sitting in silence with loved ones, these acts help us hold grief in a way that words alone cannot.
Rituals Bring Meaning to Mourning
Grief is chaotic. It doesn’t follow a neat timeline. It comes in waves—sometimes soft, sometimes crushing. But rituals offer us structure. They tell us: you’re not crazy, you’re grieving. They offer a place to cry, to remember, to sit with what’s unspeakable. They provide a container for our sorrow.
More than anything, they remind us that grief is love with nowhere to go. And funerals give that love a place to land.
If You're Grieving Now
If you’ve recently lost someone—or are carrying grief from long ago—I want you to know that your pain is valid. Whether your culture provides structured rituals or not, find your own ways to say goodbye. That might mean writing a letter, creating a memorial, or simply sitting with a photo and lighting a candle. What matters most is that you give yourself permission to feel, to remember, and to let go—at your own pace.
And if you're supporting someone else who is grieving, just being there matters more than saying the right thing. Grief needs presence, not perfection.
